June 9, 2015 by Barb Ashbee
You were able to move. Now you have to forgive and carry on. Move on with your life and find the path back to happiness you enjoyed before it all happened.
This is what my mind tells my heart. That is what some of my friends are thinking, I can feel it. A gentle sort of ‘get over it’. And some days I feel like that is what I need to do.
But the heart still feels the pain. The heart feels the injustice for an event that wasn’t an accident, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or brought on by our own actions, or a natural disaster or single tragedy that all our families suffer throughout our lives. No, this tragedy has been intense, life changing; trust destroying, personality maiming and spirit crushing because it simply did not have to happen.
Why am I still angry?
I am angry that our perfectly healthy bodies were pummeled into illness by infrasound and relentless noise. That we were no longer allowed the right to get sleep in our home. That with thumping noise on too many nights over 60 decibels at times and a house that vibrated almost every day we were unable to thrive. Headaches, heart palpitations, chest pressure, sleep deprivation, and eventually hyper- thyroidism, nosebleeds requiring treatment, anxiety in pets with some crying and vomiting at the same time we felt the worst effects. I am angry that our government leaders knew all this from our very first letter asking for help and they lied to us, let us continue on for months and months until we just couldn’t take it anymore and hired a lawyer with money we really didn’t have to spare. And I am really angry that our awful experience was not enough, piled on top of all of the others we found out about, not enough to make it stop.
Instead new projects forged ahead and more families are sick.
And what of the non- physical impacts?
My husband fretted because there was one last piece of board that needed to go on to finish the inside of the dream shop he had just built and he didn’t have the energy or desire to do it. The perfect shop to house his classic car, with the fully insulated walls, painted floor and housing his collection of car memorabilia was barely used when he had to give it up.
He stressed over our future.
We lived in uncertainty, wondering how we were going to be able to stay there yet knowing we could never sell and if we did we could never pass this on to some innocent family. I thank the stars that we had even bought the house so that the previous family who had 6 children didn’t have this set upon them. What would they have done?
While most friends and family are sympathetic others ask why we are complaining so much when obviously, according to government research, there are no ties between the turbines and what has happened to us. How do we explain these erroneous and deceitful government statements on a complicated issue in a sentence or two without sounding nuts?
I want people to be angry; I want them to write letters to our leaders asking how they can treat people so bad but would I do that if I were on the periphery? I’m not so sure. In fact, when I first heard about the earliest families in phase one having problems, I felt sure they would be resolved. After all, is that not the role of government? To put the citizens foremost, to protect our health and home and look after people in harm? That’s what I thought.
People not connected to this issue are not sure. It’s hard to explain the impacts when you don’t have anything more to show but exhausted faces that can be caused by anything. The rest is hidden. The headaches are hidden, the sleep deprivation is debilitating but you can’t see it. The heart palpitations, head and chest pressure, incredible frustration trying to sleep in a vibrating home is hidden.
What do you do when you do get up the courage to speak with your doctor about it and they stare stone faced with no comment, so unworthy are you that they don’t even bother to note the symptoms in your records. Or when they do finally speak they offer a condescending comment that leaves you in tears? Nobody sees that either.
I could go on and on about the injustice and the long term effects but until this government takes a stand to stop this industry and turns their help to those suffering instead of funding the perpetrators then I am severely overpowered. If only people knew the real story.
those who are involved in perpetrating and covering up the harm;
those who know and are fighting with every breath, some loudly, some quietly;
those who know but don’t know what to do;
those who know but don’t care;
and thanks to an impressive 5 star cover-up,
those who don’t know and will never know.
Unfortunately for all, the last two hold the majority of the population.
And so it continues….